Tuesday, October 29, 2013

how i came to write my first novel



in the spring of 2010, i was diagnosed with degenerative hip disease.

 i had been in daily pain for three years prior to this; i saw a specialist in 2007, but when he learned i was uninsured, he charged me $300 cash just to get an appointment, diagnosed me with osteo-arthritis, gave me a prescription for celebrex and booted my uninsured ass out the door. what had actually happened was the blood supply to the head of my left femur had become cut off; the bone had died and was in the process of being ground down in the socket. anyway, by 2010 i needed a hip replacement.

that was a scary year. i lost my job serving and was still uninsured, so i applied for assistance from the state to pay for my surgery. i am extremely grateful that the washington state dshs covered all the costs of my surgery, but thanks to bureaucracy the approval process took a while—six months between my diagnosis in april and my surgery in october. in that time, i was flat-broke, unemployed, and in constant and ever increasing pain. as the approval process dragged on, thoughts of suicide became more prevalent; i just wanted the hurting to stop, and was growing desperate. i needed a new project—something that would stimulate my creativity, distract me from my pain, and give me a reason to get up every morning. but being poverty-stricken, i couldn’t afford to spend what little money i had on art supplies. that’s when i decided to write a book.

sure, i had written before—i wrote my first poem when i was six. i wrote poems throughout my childhood and into my twenties, and had even tried my hand at a few short stories. and i had stories in my head, too. for as long as i can remember, i have often lulled myself to sleep by making up adventures—some set in the future, some in the past, many inspired by movies or other books i had read. they were just fantasies i used to help myself sleep...but maybe they could be more.

i had talked about writing once with a good friend of mine. dale told me that writing was all about creating the habit and sticking to it. in may, i set myself the goal of at least a thousand words a day for at least five days a week, and began my first novel. it’s a romance, of course; those bedtime fantasies had evolved over the years. the one i chose to write was inspired by the tv show lost, as i had always been fascinated by any stories set on deserted islands. my story, though, was set solidly in reality— no polar bears or frozen donkey wheels anywhere. i spent quite a bit of time on research; tropical flora and fauna, soap-making, jumbo airliner layouts, birth complications, what have you. my ancient dinosaur desk-top computer had gone to data heaven, but a good friend loaned me an old laptop and the library offered free internet, so i spent that summer writing. by the time my surgery rolled around, i had the entire basic structure of the story set, and was at over 80,000 words. i spent the two months following my surgery convalescing and polishing my story, filling in missing scenes. My book topped out at around 105,000 words; it sounds like a lot, but it’s a pretty fast read. i titled it Becoming Unbroken.

afterwards, i tried shopping my book around; i sent queries to forty different literary agents over the next seven or eight months. of those forty, i got 29 rejections, including one that was just hand-scribbled on the bottom of my own query letter and returned to me. the other eleven didn’t respond at all. oh, well. even unpublished, my book was still a success, in that it had kept me alive. besides, in the summer of 2012 i decided to self-publish on kindle. you can find Becoming Unbroken on amazon, or just follow this link--


it’s a good read, it’s got a couple of spicy sex scenes, and it’s only 99 cents, 33 of which come to me! enjoy!

UPDATE: DECEMBER 2ND, 2018

i was investigating hiring a publisher to publish my book, when one clued me in to Kindle's paperback printing service. my book is now available on Amazon in paperback!




Saturday, April 27, 2013

heeeeere's legos!-- my latest lego project

april 27th, around two in the morning:

if one has decided to do a series of portraits of her favorite movie psychos and serial killers, what is the first medium that springs to mind? why, legos, of course!

i already finished heath ledger as the joker in february, but i completed that project so quickly i never really managed to give my creative itch a really good scratch, and i've been jonesing to start another project. i was considering doing a portrait of marilyn monroe; there's this awesome photo of her that i love where she's holding a cigarette, and her hand partially obscures her face. but marilyn has been portrayed by so many other artists, i decided it would be considered too derivative. meh.

so i was surfing around, looking for a suitable subject. in my search, i image-googled "movie classics"....and when my eyes fell on this oh-so-very-familiar iconic image, i instantly knew it was going to be my next project. i don't even need to post a pic, because i'm betting you already know it; it's jack nicholson in the shining. i think portraying the villains is going to be even more fun than portraying the heroes!

tomorrow (or this morning, what have you) is going to be a busy day, so i prolly won't be able to start with the preliminary sketching until sunday. but i think i'm going to try and chronicle this project the same way i did the captain jack project, so stay tuned and i will keep you posted.

april 30th, 11:54 p.m.:

it's been a busy couple of days. this weekend, i did prep work; i ordered bricks online, gave my last sheet of pressed board a couple of coats of fresh paint, and sunday, i began drawing, graphing out the figure. i started on the right eye sunday night, and by late monday night, i'd gotten both of the eyes done. this morning, i had bob take a pic of yesterday's progress, but we've been busy today, and he only just now got it uploaded and sent to me. here it is:


i made a lot of progress today which i will post pics of some time tomorrow, depending on bob.

so how's it looking so far, folks? all questions, comments and criticisms are welcome!
 
may 1st, around seven pm:

 i'm having a real struggle managing my bricks; money's kind of tight right now, so i've been trying to avoid ordering any new legos unless they are absolutely necessary. the joker project seriously depleted my selection of black bricks, so one of the reasons i picked this image was it's overall lightness of color.

when i'm working on a project, i tend to submerge myself in it, so i've been pretty preoccupied around the house, which i suspect bob finds frustrating. i don't want the new hubby to begin to hate my lego projects. today is our five month anniversary, so earlier today, i made sure to spend some special time with my sweetie!

is that an overshare?  ;)

jack as of this morning--



may 2nd, around noon:

bob just took this pic of yesterday's work--


i don't have a lot of texture going on in this one. the broken door framing the face is mostly 2x bricks, as is the face; only the background above and below the face will be 1x bricks. i'm running low on black bricks since i used most of em on the joker and haven't had a lot of money to re-up.


i really want to get this piece finished before the eleventh (edit: i wanted to submit the piece to be considered for this local juried show; unfortunately, i wasn't chosen to be a part. curses-- foiled again!)  i am considering temporarily cannibalizing the joker; i could pop it out of the frame and pull black bricks from it's lower right corner to finish jack, and replace them later in the month when i have the time and money to buy more.

so, anybody out there feeling like donating any legos for a good cause?


may 3rd, around 2 pm:

here's the progress as of last night.


wow, i'd say it's at about 75% completion, not counting the work i will need to do on the frame. the hardest parts are finished, but now i face another difficulty-- finishing the piece with what bricks i currently have. i have some white bricks ordered and on the way, which will help. i'm just afraid of running out of the little 1x2's . . . . all of those vertical lines, oy gevalt! but like the man says-- 

"make it work!"

that's my plan.

may 6th, around 5:30 pm:

well, i've had a busy past couple of days, what with it being my birthday yesterday and all, so i haven't made a lot of progress either on the mosaic or this blog. here's how it looked yesterday morning--






and here's how it looked this morning--





and yeah, bob chopped his chin off, but until i get my own camera fixed i am in no position to complain (much.) i was able to cannibalize enough black bricks from the joker to complete the face; now i just need that last order of white legos to come in so i can finish the broken door framing his face. i'm pretty pleased with how this piece has turned out overall. now i just need to consider the frame; should i make the frame white, or red? and should i make the frame simple, or should i "distress" the frame in the same manner that i did the joker's frame? i was thinking of scratching "here's Johnny!" and/or "REDRUM" into the painted surface of the frame. how about it, fam and friends? thoughts? opinions?

may 9th, around eleven am:

...and the fat lady has sung.

so i have been waiting for that last order of legos to finish this piece...and waiting, and waiting, and waiting... i was expecting the package around the fourth or the fifth. then the evening of the sixth, i receive and email letting my know that my package was shipped that day. i was pretty peeved with the seller, as he should have shipped before last weekend; would the bricks arrive in time for me to finish and get the mosaic entered in the juried show?

then salvation showed up in the personage of my good friend bryan-- bryan brought me a big box of legos as a belated birthday gift! wahoooo!!!! it was not only enough legos for me to finish here's johnny, it was enough for me to replace all the bricks i had cannibalized from the joker as well! i am a happy camper.

as of yesterday morning--





so i just need to finish work on the frame, and i am all set! i'll be sure to update this blog on whether or not i get into the juried show. thanks to my friends and family for all their kind support, and a special thank you to bryan, who is my hero for the week!



update: june 4th--

well, i learned on june 2nd that i did not get selected to be in the allied arts summer juried show. bummer. i felt sorry for myself for about a day or so, but that's all; i am well aware that not everyone likes my style, and there's nothing i can do about that. i'm not michelangelo, but who says i have to be? receiving praise for my work is nice, but it's not the reason i make things. i create because i must; it's as basic a need for me as eating or sleeping.



Tuesday, February 19, 2013

my latest lego project-- heath ledger's joker

inspiration struck again-- and the bitch leaves bruises.

(this first bit is me venting-- if you are just interested in looking at the legos, i advise you to scroll down.)

a couple of weeks ago, i realized RadCon was coming up. for those who don't know, it's the tri-cities principle science fiction/fantasy convention, held at the pasco red lion every year. i have not yet found employment since graduation, and things have been pretty tight lately, so it occurred to me that this would be a good opportunity to a) promote my card game welfare mother, and b) sell my captain jack lego mosaic.

the con was february 16-18th. i arranged to rent some space in the art show for my work, and volunteered to be a gm (gamemaster) in the gaming room and run a table, where i could demo welfare mother. then on the 9th, it occurred to me that it would be cool if i started another lego mosaic and entered it in the art show in it's unfinished state, kind of to show people my process. it took me only a minute's thought to pick my subject-- heath ledger as the joker. i felt he would make a very compelling portrait subject, plus i knew he still had many fans, perhaps one of whom might have the cash and the inclination to buy my work. i prepared my work surface and work space saturday and began my sketching, and on sunday i began working with the legos. i knew i had limited time, and i honestly never expected to finish the piece in time for the con; the shortest time i think i managed before was nine or ten days. but i drove myself, working 10-12 hours a day, and by 2:30 am thursday morning, i had finished! then i busted my ass on the frame, which is custom made; i bought materials, cut 'em, glued and screwed it all together, distressed the frame and carved a bit on it, then slapped on a deliberately sloppy coat of paint, and he was ready to go. after i hung my work in the art show friday morning, i busted my ass again until late friday night assembling the stuff i would need to advertise welfare mother, gather feedback, and maybe sell a few copies. i was exhausted, but hopeful.

the con was a complete bust. i didn't sell either of my lego mosaics, and i had a grand total of four people altogether come to my table and play my game.

ah, well. back to the job hunt.


i took a couple of pics of piece as i was working at it, then my camera finally went to data heaven, so bob took the picture of the piece completed. this is what i had managed by tuesday morning.





 i find it interesting how in photographs, the colors look slightly different than they appear in real life. the flash of the camera makes the blue bricks appear lighter and the red bricks appear darker. regardless, the results are still striking. yeah, i know; i'm not modest. but if i don't appreciate my own work, how can i expect others to? 

this next image shows my progress by wednesday morning.




 i'm particularly pleased with how the curls in the upper left came out. this piece has very little of the layering i've used in other lego mosaics, partly because i had a lot more 2x bricks than 1x bricks, but also because the image itself needed to be...i don't know...heavier. hard to explain.

this last image was taken in the wee hours thursday morning.


.

i actually fucked it up temporarily a tiny little bit. if you'll look in the lower left along the bottom, you'll see the black shadowed area below his shirt collar go from black abruptly to green. i blame it on exhaustion. i corrected it the next day before i framed it.

anyway, overall i'm pleased with the finished work...and dumbfounded that i completed it in a little over four days. they usually take much longer. then again, on every piece before, i've had to stop work at least once, usually more than once, because i ran out of a particular color or size of brick. this is the first time my stock was sufficient to meet my needs. and since i inventoried my bricks last year, i know exactly how many i used to complete this piece. yay!

now i just need to find a buyer. any joker fans out there?