Welfare Mother-- the card game

As some of you may be aware, I designed a card game a while back I called Welfare Mother. (See? I can use caps if I feel like making the effort!) Anyway, I'm gonna tell you about it. Above is the box cover I designed (and my thanks to the lovely Heather for posing!) and just below is the teaser I wrote for the back of the box--

"It's high noon at the trailer park. Your neighbor just stole your boyfriend, your car broke down, and Child Protective Services is knocking at your door. So what are you gonna do? Will you trade your food stamps for the cash to buy scratch tickets, or will you get into a catfight with the skank next door? Will your QVC binge drive you into debt, or will your last welfare check buy you the trailer of your dreams?

 Welfare Mother is an original new card game wherein "family values" takes on a whole new meaning, and "political correctness" goes right out the window. Whether you're trading babies, or just trading insults, you and your friends will have a blast. And remember-- winning is nice . . . but revenge is more FUN!"

Cheesy, I know, but what do I know about pim-- er, marketing?

Onward.

How to Play the Game

In Welfare Mother, all the players are rival Welfare Mothers, competing to see who will be the first in the trailer park to collect enough money to buy the new trailer.

Play is simple. Each player begins with one baby card already in play; after all, we’re already Mothers. The Mothers are dealt six cards each. Each Mother in turn draws one card and then plays one card, either in front of herself, or on one of her opponents. If she can’t play, she must discard.

There are six varieties of cards; Money cards (green border), Bill cards (red), Man cards (yellow), Baby cards, (blue), Screw cards (brown), and Free Clinic cards (orange). 

There are two types of Money cards; cash cards and welfare checks.

Varieties of cash cards include Babysitting, Yard Sale, Scratch Ticket Win, Trade Food Stamps for Cash, Check from the Folks, and On The Springer Show (there's only one of those, but it's worth five hundred bucks!)

The other way to make money is by playing welfare checks. 

Each welfare check you play is worth one hundred bucks times however many Baby cards you have in play at the time.  Because of this, it’s important to have as many babies as possible, but you can’t have babies on your own; you need to have a Man card in play before you can play any Baby cards. 

There are two types of Man cards; permanents and temporaries. The permanent Man cards are Drunken Unemployed Boyfriend, Husband in the Pen and Sugar Daddy. 

 






 


 
These cards stay in play until removed by another card, and players may use them to play as many baby cards as they like. 

The temporary Man cards are One Night Stand, Visiting Ex, and Sex for Drugs. 

 






These cards are discarded after one round of play, and are only good for one Baby card. The player must play the Baby card on the turn right after the temporary Man card is played, or lose the opportunity to have that man's baby!

But Welfare Mother is not just about having babies and making money; the game is also about screwing with your opponents. There are two ways to do this; Bill cards and Screw cards. 

Bill cards are played directly on your opponents, and take away their money. 

Examples of Bill cards include Get Your Roots Bleached, QVC Binge, Sale on Diapers, Car Repairs, Donation to Televangelist, and Trip to Graceland (there's only one of these, but it costs five hundred bucks to your opponent.)

Screw cards are also played on your opponents (usually) and take away things other than money. 

The Screw cards are Catfight (lose your turn), Your Cheatin’ Heart (lose your man), My Cool-ade, Bitch (steal your man), Bad Mother—CPS Raid (lose your babies), Foster Mom (steal your babies), and STD; when someone plays an STD on you, you can’t play any Baby cards until you play a Free Clinic card. 

And that’s all there is to it! The amount of the winning goal varies depending on the number of players, and there are only two other rules to remember:

1)    players may exchange unplayed cards with one another at any time, and

2)    talking trash about your opponents is not only permitted, it’s encouraged!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

         I've been developing Welfare Mother for years, designing the structure of the game and the balance of cards, play-testing with both friends and strangers, planning and executing the card face designs. I've been ready to go to the printers for over a year, but have met a wall called Lack of Sufficient Capital. In addition, the controversial nature of the subject of the game has prevented me from finding other means of financing. 

So fuck it-- I've decided to offer my game as a free download.

         Email me at lachme@juno.com (please put "Welfare Mother" in the subject line, so I don't delete you as spam) and request a free copy of Welfare Mother. I will email you the rules, image files and instructions necessary for you to print and cut a deck of your own. Feedback will be appreciated, but not required; I just hope you enjoy the game, and please feel free to spread the word!

Laura, aka lachme